we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
