i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
