omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
