he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
