hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
