He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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