I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
