The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
