So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
