Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize