Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize