matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
