Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
