i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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