Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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