Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
