I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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