Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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