So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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