you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
