I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
