I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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