YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
