Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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