you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
