Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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