Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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