My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
