I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
