haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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