I'm really into asian looking animals
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
