How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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