Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
