who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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