He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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