shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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