yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
