batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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