with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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