Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
