I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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