If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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