we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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