We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
