Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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