420 ftw
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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