so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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