To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
