he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
