he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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