You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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