If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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