You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
