I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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