Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What a dumb baby whore.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
