Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
