She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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