I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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