the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
