I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
