my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
