It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
