Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..