theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.