My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow