Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
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Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?