Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
