I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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