I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
