I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
